like some rebellious pressure
so wanting life -
whose eruption I dared not express
for fear of losing mine
to create another -
my desire fought to be born;
struggled furiously against such reasonable suppression
as would bespeak prior commitments;
it caused heart boils and flash floods of
emotion, sometimes flushing my face
and overwarming my entire being...
and it did not help that your eyes caught mine
and I saw more than just looking going on;
even the mirror betrayed our mutual interest
so that I was ashamed to confirm
what my heart so desperately seemed to want
and looked away, afraid
of smelling your hair, kissing your neck, holding you in my arms...
of not knowing what to do...
afraid not of being discovered of my fondness for you
for I am sure such opinions are no rarity
rather, afraid of improprieties intimated by
these eyes mesmerized by some desideratum
found in you.
and though my soul begged your nearness
I could not allow it
for how could I explain falling in love with you
(I do not say it to discount your lovliness);
and what death might heaven plan for me
on tasting your nectar and favoring its flavour
over the fruits of my own garden?
it most often seems so hopeless and
so pitiful of me to even entertain the fantasy
that there could somehow be something
(and that so achingly desirous) between us...
so I am left to invent one million ways to curse myself
with words, attempting some elusive magical phrase
that might transform your heart and my world
and somehow create a new tree of life
for not to dream is to give up life...
Here's your chance to be a critic! Please do! I welcome the feedback! Thanx again for stopping by!
