This has got to be one of the funniest I've heard of in a long time.

I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This is a true story from the Word Perfect Help-line which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department.

Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the Word Perfect organization for "Termination without Cause."

Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee (now I know why they record these conversations)!

CSR: "Ridge Hall computer assistance; may I help you?"

CALLER: "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."

CSR: "What sort of trouble?"

CALLER: "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."

CSR: "Went away?"

CALLER: "They disappeared."

CSR: "Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"

CALLER: "Nothing."

CSR: "Nothing?"

CALLER: "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."

CSR: "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"

CALLER: "How do I tell?"

CSR: "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?"

CALLER: "What's a sea-prompt?"

CSR: "Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?"

CALLER: "There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type."

CSR: "Does your monitor have a power indicator?"

CALLER: "What's a monitor?"

CSR: "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV.
Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?"

CALLER: "I don't know."

CSR: "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?"

CALLER: "Yes, I think so."

CSR: "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall."

CALLER: "Yes, it is."

CSR: "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"


CSR: "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."

CALLER: "Okay, here it is."

CSR: "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."

CALLER: "I can't reach."

CSR: "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"


CSR: "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"

CALLER: "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle, it's because it's dark."

CSR: "Dark?"

CALLER: "Yes, the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window."

CSR: "Well, turn on the office light then."

CALLER: "I can't, because there's a power failure."

CSR: "A power... A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?"

CALLER: "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."

CSR: "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."

CALLER: "Really? Is it that bad?"

CSR: "Yes, I'm afraid it is."

CALLER: "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"

CSR: "Tell them you're too damn stupid to own a computer."