Why I Fired My Secretary

Two weeks ago was my 45th birthday and I wasn't
feeling too good that morning. I went to breakfast
knowing my wife would be pleasant and
say, "Happy Birthday!", and probably have a present
for me.

As it turned out, she didn't even say good morning,
let alone any happy birthday. I thought, well, that's
wives for you, the children will remember..

The children came in to breakfast and didn't say a
word. So when I left for the office, I was feeling
pretty low and despondent..

As I walked into my office, my secretary Janet
said, "Good morning, Boss. "Happy Birthday". And I
felt a little better that someone had remembered. I
worked until noon, then Janet knocked on my door and
said, "You know, it's such a beautiful day outside,
and it's your birthday, let's go to lunch, just you
and me."

I said, "By George, that's the greatest thing I've
heard all day. Let's go!" We went to lunch.

We didn't go where we normally go; instead we went
out to a private little place. We had two martinis and
enjoyed lunch tremendously.

On the way back to the office, she said, "You know,
it's such a beautiful day. We don't need to go back
to the office,do we?"I said, "No, I guess not."
She said, "Let's go to my apartment."

After arriving at her apartment she said, "Boss, if
you don't mind, I think I'll go into the bedroom and
slip into something more comfortable" "Sure!" I
excitedly replied.
She went into the bedroom and, in about six
minutes, she came out carrying a huge birthday cake
----- followed by my wife, children, and dozens of our
friends, all singing Happy Birthday.

And I just sat there ----

on the couch ----